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By Greg Bardsley, Jedidiah Ayres, ed.

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Additional info for D*CKED: Dark Fiction Inspired by Dick Cheney

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He patted the sheriff’s riot gun resting in its stand by the radio. ” Glenda leaned forward. “Of course we’re doomed. ” Thurston unlatched the weapon and passed it back. ” The Soldier got out. ” The Hispanic guy in the white shirt smiled. The Soldier didn’t say anything. ” White Shirt said. ” A single hesitant nod from the Soldier. ” He paused. ” A trickle of sweat ran down the small of the Soldier’s back. He didn’t reply. ” White Shirt moved nearer, bringing the shotgun up. Two armed men came out of the cantina.

It was all a big laugh, until one day Nick was surfing the internet and saw Guantanamo, his own name and the title of his best-known song, Opal all together in the one sentence. The eminently hummable chorus of Opal went: Hey opal eyes Ooh opal eyes I wanna lie with you always Ooh opal eyes Hey opal eyes I wanna make love with you always Catchy shit. Nick wrote songs about fucking groupies that were thinly veiled as ballads of immortal love. He’d been to the top of the charts on five separate occasions, but no song of his had the staying power of Opal which held the top spot for eleven weeks straight in 2006.

CODENAME: BALLADEER BY CAMERON ASHLEY ONE HOUR IN, HE WAS POUNDING ON THE DOOR and begging for release. Three hours in, he was screaming and beating his head against the walls. Six hours in, he was dead on his back in a pool of his own blood. Right wrist ripped open wide, a fractured shard of cheap alloy belt-buckle still dug into his left. Nick cursed himself for not taking that fucking belt off the guy when he locked him up, but there was no way he could’ve foreseen this. He dropped the breakfast tray to the floor, exited the home-made cell and hit the power button on the stereo.

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D*CKED: Dark Fiction Inspired by Dick Cheney by Greg Bardsley, Jedidiah Ayres, ed.


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