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By The Harvard Lampoon

“Estaba completamente segura de unas tres cosas. Primero, Edwart period, tal vez, mi alma gemela, quizá. Segundo, él tenía una parte de vampiro —que yo asumía estaba totalmente fuera de su control— que me quería muerta.Y tercero, yo deseaba incondicional, irrevocable, impenetrable, heterogénea, ginecológica y vergonzosamente que me besara”. Y así, Belle Goose se enamoró del misterioso y chispeante Edwart Mullen en esta desternillante parodia de los angeles irreverente Harvard Lampoon.
Pálida y patosa, Belle llega a Switchblade, Oregon, buscando una aventura o por lo menos, un compañero de clase inmortal. Pronto descubrirá a Edwart, un nerd guapo, loco de las  computadoras, con cero interés por las chicas. Después de ser testigo de extraños sucesos –¡Edwart no se ha comido sus patatas rellenas!¡Edwart l. a. ha salvado de una bola de nieve!–, Belle tiene una dramática revelación: Edwart es un vampiro. Pero, ¿cómo convencerle para que l. a. muerda y los angeles convierta en su novia eterna si parece sentir repulsión por las chicas?
Políticamente incorrecta, llena de amor, peligro, acoso e insuficiente supervisión paternal, Corpúsculo es l. a. hilarante historia de una chica obsesionada por los vampiros que busca el amor en el sitio equivocado.

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A controlled pacer, the good doctor was, no doubt accustomed to channeling frustration in small, confined places. Operating rooms. Waiting rooms. Patients’ rooms. He wondered how she would cope in the tiny cell of the catacombs, where the interrogators had worked on him. Would she hover beneath the suspended cross rack, or circle around the copper vat as they engaged the winch to lower the chain hoist? Would she scream, as he had? ” She was giving him her patient tone now. ” He had no interest in learning what she would do to fix him; it was too much like what had been done to inflict the damage.

His seneschal asked. ” The comparison made Michael laugh. ” The image helped, however. That mare had been a bitch, but she had had the silkiest, darkest chestnut hide he had ever seen. A surprisingly apt analogy for the doctor. ” “More. ” Phillipe’s tone underwent a subtle change. ” As much as Michael despised his current state, he could not jeopardize the Darkyn to allow one human female her freedom. ” Phillipe sounded aggrieved. Was his seneschal becoming attached to the bad-tempered wench?

How stunned Michael had felt, to open his eyes to the sight of her standing before him in her bloodstained gown. Phillipe had told him that she was small, but he had said nothing about the proportionate perfection of her curves.

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Corpúsculo by The Harvard Lampoon

by John

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